Friday, November 21, 2008



Crazy Sam's Bloginess

"I know exactly the tone I wanted, they (gays) did not need to be effeminate." Words of Karan Johar, the producer of much hyped movie, Dostana. Dostana is a story of two guys, Sameer (Abhishek Bachan) and Kunal (John Abraham) pretending to be gay lovers so that they can live in an apartment with owner's niece, Neha (Priyanka Chopra). Yeah, a I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry - kinda deal. Karan even proceeds to say that he didn't feature the stereotypical gay flamboyance in this movie.

Crazy Sam's BloginessAlright. Let me ask you Karan, by giving that statement, were you trying to state that you didn't portray gays as sari-clad men? Or that your non-stereotyped gays weren't wearing any sparkling outfits? Is that all you meant? If so, lemme tell you dear, get out of that shallow well and understand what the actual stereotypical gay flamboyance is! But for a man working in an industry where you often get to meet homosexuals, I know you exactly understand how gays are being stereotyped.

Karan Johar adds, "Even within the fun and games, handling it sensitively is a challenge. If we offend even one member of the homosexual community, it will really disturb me." I just want to bark at you Karan, aren't you ashamed of telling outright lies such as Dostana being sensitive to the gay community? Okay, I get it, the jokes and the gayish actions were meant only for fun. But why do you have to put on such blatant lies? To attract gay audience? Wasn't John's butt enough for that? You have offended me. But I know you are least bothered since you are busy licking your moolah!

Crazy Sam's Bloginess

Crazy Sam's BloginessI'm not upset about the two male leads showing exaggerated actions or Abhishek's running during his Venice-narration or even about the one whole song that suggests being gay is bad. Sameer and Kunal were straight and probably any straight guy would also do such embellished actions if he wanted to desperately convince others that he is gay. I'm upset with the way Karan and team promoted the film that they succeeded in deviating from the stereotypes. I strongly object to that! If they could have added at least one scene where Sameer, Kunal and Neha saw two regular guys who were totally in love with each other in that Miami crowd, so as to make the audience realize, "Oh gays could be like that too!", I would never have taken all these troubles to trash this "ice-breaking" movie.

If gays indeed behaved all flamboyant, why would guys like me always complain about not possessing a gaydar? I could just look at a guy and think, "Oh he is acting flamboyant. He is gay!" That even a straight person can figure out, no need of any gaydar. Duh!

And it surprises me that lot of Indian gays take pride in getting homosexuality featured through this film. True, this movie initiated discussion among the public, more than what when the news of disagreements between Health Minister, Anbumani Ramadoss and Home Minister, Shivraj Patil on legalizing homosexuality hit the media. But this was definitely not the correct way to get that discussion initiated. You comfort yourself that since this is a comedy film, it is okay. Guys! Wake up and smell that stinking muck!! When you laugh at the comicality, the whole world is laughing at you! One of my colleagues said to me, "Did you see Dostana? I mean, do guys really behave that gross if they are gay?" Way to go Karan, way to go!! You just succeeded in creating more homophobes. I thank all my Gods for not making my parents come with me to watch this. I seriously don't want them to associate me with any of these Dostana-characters when I come out to them.

Crazy Sam's Bloginess

Crazy Sam's BloginessIf you ask which movies I would want my parents to see, currently my picks are Mambo Italiano and A Love To Hide. The parental situations shown in Mambo Italiano are very much similar to an Indian scenario. It is a funny light-hearted movie, but not making fun of gays! (Now all you Karans out there, please don't get "inspired" to make this in Hindi!) And after they are comfortable with the whole homosexuality deal, I would want them to watch A Love To Hide. This is indeed a strong powerful heart-wrenching movie. I watched it last year and never had the strength to watch it a second time.

So finally this is Sam's verdict: Dostana does not at all succeed in deviating from the gay stereotypes. Even if homosexuality gets legalized in India, movies like Dostana claiming to be liberated from stereotypes may cause blockage for the social acceptance of gays. You may watch it for Shilpa Shetty's friggin hot body, Abhishek's superb acting, John Abraham's "coin-slot", Priyanka's beautiful face and the laughs at the comical scenes, but that's it!

Check out these related posts too!
Taare Zameen Par
Mambo Italiano
Bhool Bhulaiyaa

  • Anonymous November 21, 2008 at 7:14 AM

    Point taken.

    But I still can't wait to watch this friggin' film.

  • pepe M. November 21, 2008 at 9:01 AM

    applaud sammy!

    even me was TOTALLY disgusted on how karan (who apparently is gay himself)bullshited gays...does he has to resort with all those innuendos???

    great article babe!!!! love it!

  • *Aham* November 21, 2008 at 10:34 AM

    I feel Karan has brought the issue of homosexuality to the fore. And of course as a producer he has capitalized on it. I loved the comic Timing. And i dont know how else the story couldve been told... It was very easy to miss the line and get offensively loud against gays.Kiran Kher's concerns and worries about her son being gay... the scene where Priyanka tells Kiran to accept her sons orientation... was all a class...

    I loved the movie, but I dont feel its worth a Blog War between new found Blog-Dosts! So what if We dont see eye-to-eye on this issue. We feel for the cause. You, Me, De and all Gay!

  • Prash November 21, 2008 at 12:30 PM

    I hate abhisek bachan and I read a very bad review in rebel's blog about this movie...

  • Oxy November 21, 2008 at 3:22 PM

    Sam, Nicely written. I have put your link at Karan's blog already. Hope he reads your POV (I am not sure whether they will publish my comment at his blog also or not as it needs to be approved first by 'site owner').

  • Broom November 21, 2008 at 8:58 PM

    Amen! I hope he never makes a movie on lesbians. They'd all be butch with short hair.
    Actually, he'd probably get Abhishek & Joh to wear fake boobs and play the role of two lesbians.

  • Anonymous November 21, 2008 at 10:22 PM

    HeHe! How cruel :P

  • nick November 21, 2008 at 11:09 PM

    I thought this movie totally bombed - now i know why I can't stand Bollywood flicks. Theres 3 hours of my life i'm never getting back! Look out for my slating on the blog soon!

  • Crazy Sam November 22, 2008 at 4:39 AM

    Unsung: Dude, I'm not telling not to watch this movie. What I'm disgusted with is the way Karan is trying to promote Dostana as a bollywood flick that doesn't shy to talk about gays without stereotyping them. And that is so not true!!

    Pepe: Yeah, even I'm very much disappointed. I had a hope since Kal Ho Naa Ho beautifully showed a gay-couple in the video "Kuch To Hua Hai".

    And thanks buddy! :)

    Aham: I'm afraid you are still not getting what I'm trying to make you guys understand. Forget about the comedy and the story line, I'm not concerned about that. I'm just raising my voice against Karan's attempt to parade that his movie succeeded in steering away from the stereotypical concept of gays. This has got nothing to do with blog wars, but if Karan and team with the help of a news channel try to project supportive opinions of a small bunch of homsexuals as the voice of the entire Indian gays, it is my obligation to make the world realize that it is not so.

    Prash: ..that Rebel wanted John and Abhishek to be less homophobic than they really are in the movie? Yeah, even I felt so. But I loved Abhi's performance in this one.

    Oxy: Thanks Oxy, I too have left a comment at Karan's blog. Yeah I know, it has to be approved which I'm quite doubtful coz all the comments above mine were only talking about how the movie was damn enjoyable and mine was a one that stood different from the crowd.

    But I'm trying my best to make this post reach a much larger audience.

    Broom: LMAO! That's so funny!

    Nick: I will be waiting to read your sarcastic bitching. :P

  • VJ November 22, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    may be there was a scene of intimacy between a gay couple..

    Either the censor board has removed it..

    or may be he dont want the hindu extremists going havok againt those kind of movies portraying lesbians and gays..oh he..this has happend br rite!!

    and..the whole purpose of the movie is entertainment..if u want a film abt gay brokeback mountain..its a great movie or make something like that rather than trying to push things into a comedy film

  • Crazy Sam November 22, 2008 at 3:59 PM

    VJ: When I wrote "regular guys who were totally in love", I didn't mean that I wanted to see some serious kissing or Dante's Cove-like steamy sex scenes. I don't understand why would two regular guys shown walking hand in hand or even hugging (like what they showed in Kal Ho Naa Ho) would tempt the almighty Censor Board to take their scissors or outrage the Hindu extremists! Or they could have made a funny situation where these three assume two regular guys as straight and the trio gets shocked when they are shown lip-locking or something like that. Making movies is all about creativity and we all know Karan has oodles of it!

  • savante November 23, 2008 at 7:04 AM

    Wella t least the film's a move in one direction. Hopefully they will improve with time. Little steps!

    Abraham's coin slot? :O What's that?

  • Crazy Sam November 23, 2008 at 8:45 AM

    Savante: I'm only upset with the way Karan is trying to parade that his movie didn't stereotype gays. We gays know that he stereotyped them 100 percent. And if you watch the movie, you can see Dostana is not about gays. Dostana is about two guys pretending to be gay. With this movie what idea the viewers would get hearing Karan's statements? - That all gays act pansy, but Sam and Kunal didn't appear like that most of the times because they were actually straight??! We wanted the movie to take us to a better direction, not just enhance the already misconceived believes.

    Sav, you don't know what a coin-slot is? LOL!! Click here. :D

  • A rebel all the way... November 23, 2008 at 8:07 PM

    I guess the comment I left on my blog applies here as well. So copy pasting it here. ;-)

    @Sam -> You missed my point. I have never liked John as an actor. And neither John nor Abhishek quite did justice to their roles (or maybe their roles were a tad fucked up in the first place). As I have written in the post itself, I would have loved it had they been shown as a bit less homophobic.
    Dostana is not pro-gay like Brokeback, it only acknowledges the issue of homosexuality. At the same time, it is not anti-gay as well (unlike Girlfriend - one of the worst movies I have seen).
    Dostana wasn't intended solely for the gay audience in the first place. It was targeted at the masses - straight OR gay.
    This movie does intensify stereotypes, I do agree with that. But it also makes people aware that some people ARE gay. Do you even know what a kiss between two guys means in Indian cinema?!! And when John and Abhi kiss, the audience in the fashion show cheer and hoot for them. I think it is a classic. And if your colleague thought that John and Abhi (in their gay avataars) were gross, then I am sorry to say that he is completely retarded.
    I think it is important that Bollywood takes one step at a time, as far as sensitizing the masses to homosexuality is concerned.
    I don't think Dostana is a great movie. No, far from it. But it isnt as bad as you make it out to be. :)

  • Crazy Sam November 23, 2008 at 11:26 PM

    Rebel: I do understand what you are trying to make me see. But like many of the readers, I'm afraid you are also getting to conclusion that I wrote this whole post because I felt offended by the movie. I have no problem with the movie, Dostana and as I said in the post, I also understand why Sameer and Kunal tried to act effeminate and I’m really cool with all that. In fact, I was laughing my ass off during those scenes. I’m just pissed off by the way Karan is trying to parade that this movie doesn’t shy to talk about gays without stereotyping them. And did you see even one scene like that in the movie?

    Now regarding Dostana making people aware that some people ARE gay.. Any new thought (in this case, that new thought is - there is a fair amount of population that is gay ) can be introduced in two ways - a right way and a wrong way. The right way can enlighten the minds, where as the wrong way can poison them. A scene from this movie itself presents the best example. You see how Sameer and Kunal try to bring a picture about hostel life to Abhimanyu's son? They were injecting poison to him by showing that Taare Zameen Par clip (the wrong way) because their motives were bad. What would Abhimanyu have done if he wanted his son to know about hostel life? He would have tried to make his son understand how much more fun and thrilling experience it could be, if he stayed in hostel (the right way). Abhimanyu would not have wanted his son to have that unnecessary fear. Now similar is the case with Dostana. By projecting an image that Dostana didn't at all stereotype gays (the wrong way), Karan and team could be poisoning the minds of millions. Did you see even one scene that didn't stereotype gays? We gays know that fact. And those who understand homosexuality know that fact. But what about the rest of the people? They are still made to believe that since this movie doesn't stereotype gays (as said by Karan and team), what that was shown in the movie is all real about gays! (and I'm not talking about Abhi's or John's character.)

    Once again I want to make all my readers clear that I'm not against the movie, I'm against the way this movie is being promoted and pushed onto the public's face. :)

  • Rolling November 23, 2008 at 11:46 PM

    well am gay by temperament, a straight woman by sexual orientation. I want to say this here, and I never was a Hindi movie or KJo fan ever, I like thrillers and sc-fi in the Matrix or Contact genre,if Karan's movie is made for half baked jellobean brains like mine, then I must declare that I didnt walk away from that movie thinking or getting the idea that Gays are "pansys" - bec I took time to watch both the roles, and also the "acting" - I do believe when telling a story within a story in th Venice scene, K used an age old craft to show "ok this is the way the world thinks it is" implication :it isn't tho. thats the message I took home with me. The immigration officer was satisfied wth John being Gay, wh to me meant "Ok Gays are just like anybody else and its hard to make out in a crowd wh one might be blue" and that exactly is what I had wanted women to see and appreciate - that ladies, its not easy to tel, you might ruin ur unsuspecting little life by falling for the one u think is, but may not be!
    So, you I undertsand, er, I think(I often go wrong abt such things) your stand, and am glad I got to read this 'insight' into a genuine Gay heart ,
    BUT I think, Aham is right TOO, and there is no bloody blog war - this isnt the border, there isn't a line of control, its mainstream cinema for God's sake!
    If I offended anyone here, it's unintentional, as a straight viewer, I didnt find it funny or a mockery thats all.

    Thx, Sammy for the passionate and honest review. After all the inane, puerile, jaded, loveless reviews, this came as a refreshing surprise.

    Ur space looks interesting too, except for the scary banner wh looks like a strip tease, the way it opens bit by bit (I was almost scared that I might have to minimise the screen whn Princie walks in). Its ok in pvt but whn its a blog u want to be able to read and pass it on wthout feeling shy about it, if you know what I mean :|

  • Crazy Sam November 24, 2008 at 8:01 PM

    Rolling: I agree, neither this movie nor Karan's statements is powerful enough to corrupt minds who understand homosexuality. That's why when you walked out from the theater, you didn't buy the idea that gays are pansies.

    But what about those who have a misconceived notion about gays and those who aren't comfortable with the idea of homosexuality, but were lured to watch this movie in the name of comedy or star cast or the packaging that gays are shown non-stereotyped?

    And then, with the aid of a news channel, Karan and team projects the supportive opinion of few gays to make the world feel, "See? Finally even gays are agreeing with us! So this movie is a must-watch!" Realize the manipulative strategy these people are using. Therefore through this post, I'm expressing my strong abhorrence against such shameful tactics, and not indulging in any blog wars. C'mon! I'm not that low to be absorbed in such acts, and too over a Karan Johar film!!

    Thank you Rolling for liking this post and my blog. And about the banner, Haha! In this age where audience is totally comfortable in seeing John's butt crack, I don't think you have to feel shy while sharing this page with a friend!! ;-)

  • Rolling November 24, 2008 at 10:33 PM

    Do u mind editing out the word 'woman' from my comment, please? And then this line from here too quickly, please?

    I would not post a half naked man on my site even tho I wd admire the sight in pvt, for the simple reason that I feel uncomfortable about flaunting my sexual self in the presence of my children or students.

    I am old fashioned perhaps and am getting old, but I wd feel far more comfortable if people I want to share ur blog with didnt get the idea that being Gay means wearing one's sexuality on one's sleeves. While am aware of some realities, it still makes it a difficult question to field considering the already messed up mahaul we have here in India. You seriously want to make it harder?

    As for Dostana, am so sorry I keep getting back and back again, but please stop to consider some facts:

    1) how much Gay art content do you have in Hindi? Or any regional language for that matter, (apart from stray attempts by Bangla Band CACTUS, who probably were the first ones in the country to record a song about being Gay, the VDO is on Youtube, its called Pokkhiraj, if you are interested)?

    2) what else is there in mainstream cinema except passing comments n ludicrous stereotyping as effeminate, overdressed bingos?

    3)Fashion is the first decent attempt, BUT how many even noticed the fact that there were more than one designer and then as many as five Gay characters of different shapes, sizes, behaviour patterns in that movie? And why did they not notice? Bec they were told its a movie abt fashion and not Gays.

    4)Isn't it true that now if you catch a school boy discussing, homosexuality in campus, they could conveniently get away by saying they were only talking abt the movie? So doesnt the movie then bring the idea a little closer to home?

    5) wdnt most mums react the way Kiran did? And wdnt most yuppie mums identify with her and give it a thought when they see HER accepting the relationship in her own aparently 'funny' way?

    6) That so much 'talk' is happening, doesn't it make it easier now to take it in an open forum like television and start talking about the whole thing? Hasnt the film therefore cleared the way as it were?

    7)Isn't Karan Gay himself? As rumour wd have it, and is it in keeping with HIS character to rant and shout alienating the already hostile public?

    8)Isn't 377 still in force even rt now tht I write to you? Can any businessman in his right mind afford to let 45 crores sink in like "water" bec of raw passion at the cost of reason?

    9)Isnt the job of a reviewer to show the public HOW to watch a movie rather than telling them what they might already see anyway?

    10) aren't you doing more harm to the 'cause' (if it is like that, n since my friends get beaten up n evicted, I wd like to think it bloody well, is now)by underlining things wh already clueless straight journos have?

    11) In any work of art, no matter how ow-grade it might be, isn't there always some things that can still be slavaged and DOSTANA is a work of passionate interest on the part of the producer-director.
    It isnt all business at all. The film starts with a letter, that many fail to notice : "Dear Mum, I love you"

    12) Isnt he too trying - isnt he as much a part of the messed up society that u are too and as a man with a familiar face has much more to lose than me if he fails?
    Doesn't that spell some kind of commitment in a way to his craft if u wdnt like to call it 'art'?

    Well, unlike you, I WOULD like all women to go watch that movie and I wish somebdoy with me shouted from rooftops WHAT they shd watch out for rather than tell them what they already 'think about' anyway.

    One has to "bell the cat" first and foremost before dressing it up or dissecting it in the lab.

    I didnt mean u started a war, CrazySam, I was answering Aham, I think with the way me and Shefaly bantered back and forth on the subj at Nita's(as nobody read me, although this time I think I was ranting less and writing sensible stuff ;))he probably felt that a war was on.
    In fact, somebody called Ravi, commented there saying : Yes, Rolling and Shefaly, fight, fight etc :)

    Of course you would not start a war, you are far too sensible. N I sincerely hope you wdn't take offense at my digging in my paws on the issue. I do want the film to hit sky high so there can be 100s of copies and therefore the chance of ONE great classic emerging out of it all. Main aaj ka nai, kaal ka soch rahi hun, beta, that's all.

  • Rolling November 24, 2008 at 10:43 PM

    On second thought, I think ur banner might lure straight women to ur space, n thereby, probably, end up educating em in the process, honing their Gaydars too(am glad people liked my word and are using it back and forth :) )
    Ur site is indeed extremely interesting visually n contentrich.

  • Rolling November 24, 2008 at 10:53 PM

    As an aware, informed and empowered mind, a Gay individual, its your responsibility to use whatever little that's available to work on those minds that are obtuse and hard to get. It is easy to deter, harder to harness - interest, acquiscence.

  • Crazy Sam November 25, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    Rolling: Wow Rolling, you are on a roll!! Hehe. :D
    Regarding editing the comments, Blogger doesn't allow me to do that. Therefore, your comments stay intact. Sorry!!

    I will talk about the banner at the end, coz you made new "discoveries" later. Hehe. :P

    Let me try to justify my point of view by going through your facts.

    [1] I'm not hoping Indian screens to be filled with gay-related content. But then again, if at all anyone wishes to portray gays, I would want them to show at least one character in a non-stereotypical way if they want to boast that their work did justice to the gay community.

    [2] Because that's what majority of the viewers wishes to see. Stereotype sells. And when producers or directors or writers want to represent a gay character, they feel afraid whether the audience would be able to relate with a regular boring gay person.

    [3] I haven't seen Fashion, though I know that movie used quite a number of gay characters. But Madhur Bhandarkar didn't go on saying that he was trying to feature the real deal about gays. And I disagree, Fashion is not the first decent attempt. There is My Brother Nikhil even though I didn't quite like that movie.(I dunno why.) But I really loved the gay treatment in Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.. The audience didn't even have a clue that two characters were gay/bi. And we feel surprised when we come to know the truth. That's exactly how it happens in real life. In most cases, we wouldn't be able to tell whether one is gay or not. It's only when he or she comes out to you that you will know.

    [4] Seriously? Homosexuality is discussed in campus without being made fun of it? I still doubt. But if it so, then it's good. But I would rather prefer that school boy associating his gay talk with Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. than Dostana. May be because it was the fault of the Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.'s team that they didn't care to brag like their movie tried to feature the plight of gays in a real way!

    [5] I guess, that's the only scene in the movie which kinda brought some 'truth'. And that's the scene for which these so called Dostana-supporting-gays are grateful for and they start propagating the message along with Karan that Dostana indeed did justice to the gay community! However, I would also want you to check out this post about gays and mothers.

    [6] It's good that so much talk is happening. At the same time I also want them to talk about how viewers are continuously fed with the same stereotyped image about gays and that's what I wished to happen after someone reads this post.

    [7] I don't know whether Karan is gay or not. It's not right for us to comment on his sexuality. If he is gay and he wants to keep it in the closet, it is his wish. But even when a gay guy makes movie on gays, he would have at least kept one non-stereotypical character. When Karan is trying to show India, what gay is all about, how come he missed the majority of us? At the same time, I also feel that Karan is fed up with all the rumour about him being gay and his association with Shah Rukh Khan. May be with this movie, he wanted to say something of this sorts, "See? I'm not gay. If I were gay, would I care to show gays like this?" Karan may be in denial, but that's his private matter.

    [8] Just because 377 is in force, I don't think a movie could have flopped for the sole reason that it featured gays. And I was not expecting anyone to make a Brokeback Mountain type movie either.

    [9] This post was not a review on Dostana. In fact, the only review this post had about the movie was in the last paragraph.

    [10] I don't think I'm not doing any harm. I'm just trying to make all those people realize what Karan and the news channel trying circulate are delusive. Someone needs to straighten out those twists and I'm only doing that.

    [11] True, Karan may be considering all his movies as his children just like what I think about this blog. But just because he showed a message addressed to his mother doesn't mean he is not eyeing on the business. For people like him, movie-making is a business and he will try to get the profit in any way.

    [12] I thought he was trying to send subtle signals about homosexuality through his movies Kaal, Kal Ho Naa Ho and Kabhi Alwida Na Kehna. But with Dostana, he went overboard sending outright wrong signals to the masses.

    Rolling, I'm not saying not to watch the movie (Please read the last sentence of the post.) I'm just saying to the public not to believe Karan and team's nonsense that gays weren't stereotyped in Dostana.

    Rolling, don't worry. I didn't take offense in any of your laid out facts. And I do hope, that after seeing the success of Dostana, another movie comes out, but this time focusing on the regular straightish gays like me.

    About the banner, it actually represents the soul of this blog. Like the song goes, "Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me", through this blog I want to share all those emotions that I wouldn't be able to express in my real world. If you go through my blog, you would be able to see all the sexy-naughty-bitchy posts in addition to this kinda serious ones. I try to enlighten the minds regarding homosexuality though that is not the sole aim of this blog. Thanks Rolling for finding my blog interesting. I'm indeed honoured! :D

    Honing one's gaydar.
    For guys like me, it is real work to identify gays. But I guess for women, it could be much easier.
    So to all those women who wish to know if their boyfriend or husband is gay: If he is too-good-to-be-true kinda guy in all subjects except for the sex part, he could be gay.

    How does that sound!! :D

  • Rolling November 25, 2008 at 7:13 PM

    worries me that even YOU cant see!!
    Anyway, that was a good suggestion, albeit difficult, bec people can act up.

    I didnt like My Bro N bec everybdy automatically assoc Gay=AIDS.

    I liked Birdcage, Brokeback Mountain, Happy Together. I did think Abraham was an ordinary straight looking Gay portrayed here. In Fashion, the one designer that gets married to a straight girl was also looked like any straight guy. Like any of my Gay friends. You cant tell them apart - yes.

    what do you mean when you say "checking a guy out"? What exactly is going on? You make gestures at him to see if he responds to you as a man? Or what?
    'Checking out' with a woman would mean, to look at appearance, gesture, posture, expression on face. what did you mean tho?

  • Crazy Sam November 26, 2008 at 12:54 PM

    Rolling: Haha! Yes, even I can't see!! Unless he acts effeminate, I will have no clue to identify one. But people tell me that once I move to a gay-friendly environment, I'll naturally learn to "pick up the signals".

    Well.. as for identifying one's boyfriend or husband, if he is not passionate during the sex, it shows! And no acting can hide it. (I'm talking about the scenario where you are sure that your boyfriend/husband is not seeing someone else.) And if he still manages to give an Oscar-worthy performance, it's time to subject him to the ultimate acid test! Make him do oral on you. Straight guys love to do cunnilingus and for gay guys it is an absolutely icky-eww!! One time, one of my blog friends asked her straight male readers why they are so obsessed with it, and oh my!! Imagine the flood of responses she got!

    What do I mean when I say, "Checking a guy out" - No no, I won't make any gestures to see if he is responding. In fact, checking a guy out is not same as checking whether he is gay or not. When I check a guy out, I usually admire the way he stands, he laughs, his hands go during the talks, and yes.. the expressions on his face, his hair, his chest, his dressing style, the way his jeans hugs his butt and such.. Most of the time when I check out a guy, I make sure that he doesn't notice me what I'm up to. I know which post you were referring to. But on that day, we both knew what our eyes were busy with! :P

  • Anonymous November 26, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    I haven't seen the movie.. (I know still not) But if your verdict is this, i don't think i am ready to spend my precious 200 bucks on this movie.

  • Rolling November 27, 2008 at 1:12 AM

    r u quite serious?

    what nlog was that please?

    @ Bloggingknight, I think its meant more for Mums, than Gays or Men ;) so u wd be rt in nt wasting ur 200 bucks.

  • Rolling November 27, 2008 at 1:14 AM

    nlog= blog
    ...than=rather than
    sorry abt the typo

  • Crazy Sam November 27, 2008 at 8:06 PM

    BloggingKnight: You can very well enjoy the movie if you don't buy Karan's theory of non-stereotyping.

    Rolling: When I comment, do you see a change in colour (Orange) for some of the texts? Those are actually hyperlinks. If you click those "coloured texts" you'll be taken to the page that is linked to. Anyways, to reach the "Checking a guy out"-blog, Click Here.

    And in one of the earlier comments, I wanted you to check out a post regarding gays and mothers. That was linked too, I think you didn't notice that one also. To reach the post on gays and mothers, please Click Here.

  • Anonymous November 29, 2008 at 7:36 AM

    Stumbled upon your blog and I think it's really good. Since I'm not in India, I haven't heard about the movie nor seen it. Then again, I wouldn't watch Karan Johar movies. Not a big fan. I am not surprised though that he publicised it one way and the movie did not match up. I think Bollywood has a long way to go before they can break stereotypical presentations of homosexuality.

  • Crazy Sam November 30, 2008 at 12:31 AM

    Psych Babbler: Well.. Dostana could've been a perfect podium to break those stereotypes. Too bad that Karan fucked it up.

    And thanks for stumbling upon my blog and liking it! :D

  • Derric December 9, 2008 at 8:09 PM


    You are correct watch the filim for John, Shilpa, Priyanka and you cant avoid Abhishek..definitely for gay reasons...i ll recomend it for a laugh but definitely not for gay sentiment or facts.

    Yes i do find gays who are effiminate but that dosent mean everyone are, honeymoon travels did portray in a realistic manner, but the fact of marrying to shut up society and family (si,ilar scenario in Fashion too), that is not very much comforting.

    The dialogue between the mother (played by Kiron Kher) and Priyanka in was kinda intresting. Yes this movie is a fact, straight posing as gay for gains, but the way in which gay was portrayed i resent that.

    But it also reminds me something what i read, 'be it good publicity or bad publicity it is publicity', it makes people to notice...

  • Crazy Sam December 11, 2008 at 8:04 PM

    Derric: Yes Derric, good and bad publicity have made this movie a huge hit at box office.

  • Soul Seared Dreamer December 23, 2008 at 9:21 PM

    I kinda flicked through the comments - all except Rolling's coz I'm gonna need time for that.

    But essentially I agree with Rebel on this.

    But I do want to stress I think you forget just how brutal Indian people can be towards the subject of homosexuality. There is no doubt in my mind that Karan himself is gay, and whilst I do think the film itself does take the piss out of gay people.. it has succeeded in bringing a subject NO-ONE talks about to the forefront of everyone's lips.

    Would you rather the film have been as extreme as brokeback and caused riots throughout India? I think Karan is a very smart man and his attempt with Dostana bringing homosexuality to existance worked like a charm. Whilst I think he needs a slap for making the characters so homophobic.. the premise of the film worked (in my opinion it did anyway). There was an on-screen kiss between TWO HUGE MALE stars and it got appluaded, and the scene between the girl and the mother highlighted the need for acceptance of love in whatever form it is in. It would have been nice to see an actual homo couple happy together but for a first step... I think Karan did good.

    Plus the film was worth it just for Johnnie's coin slot LOL.

  • Simon December 27, 2008 at 3:32 PM

    I so Agree with you Sam. Here we were waiting for a nice gay themed movie, starving for a better portrayal of us and when we heard of Dostana we thought we would get that because Karan was gay. But he decided to stick with the same old stereotypes. I really was disappointed.

    Simon D

  • Crazy Sam December 28, 2008 at 9:08 PM

    Amit: Karan needs more than a slap for making characters so homophobic and so fem and flamboyant. And you should check out Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. for the on-screen kiss between two males and the plot was happening not in Miami or in London, it was happening right here in Goa. I think gay-themed stories should be left to women directors and male directors should just stay away from such subjects.

    Simon: Yes, many of us are really disappointed.

  • Anonymous December 29, 2008 at 8:26 AM

    But Sammy, Honeymoon Travels was not mainstream cinema. This one was.

    You know, at the end of the day, the kiss between John&Abhi was unnecessary. It was part of Karan's agenda. So was the rest of the film.

    There is too much personal agenda in this film. And I think it's done the community good, and not bad. Or atleast, it broke even.

    One thing I know is that Karan Johar is as gay as you or me, and he's as concerned for the community as we are. Dostana was just the beginning to his Grand Master Plan. It'll only get better, I bet.
    And time will tell.

  • Crazy Sam January 3, 2009 at 9:15 AM

    Unsung: Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. was indeed a mainstream movie, but the makers didn't market it using gay plot. I used to feel Karan was concerned about the gay community with the subtle signs he left on Kaal, Kal Ho Naa Ho and Kabhi Alwida Na Kehna. But I don't know what happened to him with this one. Yes, he was not the one who directed this movie, but I'm more concerned about the way he tried to make public believe that he bravely showed gays with no stereotypes.

  • Anonymous January 3, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    Well, if he said that he intended to break stereotypes with this, he was wrong and there's no doubt about that. If on the contrary, he intended to bring Homosexuality out of the closet, he succeeded. And I'd rather appreciate him for doing the latter rather than not criticise him for doing the former.

    We cannot decide what course of action he takes in his films. We can only endorse them or reject them.

    Looking at it from an optimistic point of view, I endorse this work as having done something for the gay community by making homosexuality such a core issue in mainstream cinema, spark debates and discussions on TV on a topic that was otherwise perpetually in cold storage, and gain more support for Homosexuals from at least the women in the country. HTPL did a better job minus stereotypes but didn't as much as make anyone bat an eyelid, so it was simply a film containing a tiny sub plot on homosexuality that people probably wouldn't even remember.

    Anyway, I doubt you and I would find common ground on the issue, so I suppose we should let it go :)

  • Crazy Sam January 3, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    Unsung: Yes, Karan was indeed successful in featuring homosexuality as a core issue in a mainstream cinema, but at the expense of making a mockery of gay people. You want others to look at us with contempt or you want them to see us equally? Anyways, I suggest you to read my explanation (15th comment) when Rebel raised a similar thought. :)

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