Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Right To Do "I Do"


Crazy Sam's Bloginess

If anyone asks me whether I see myself involved in a relationship with a guy ten years from now, I would promptly say, "Yes!" But do I see us married? Although I wish our relationship to be solidified by a marriage, I will not be as confident in saying a "Yes" as I was in giving the previous reply.

Crazy Sam's BloginessAnd why? Let's face it, men have serious issues when it comes to commitments and marriages. I would say, most of the times, man is the troublesome ingredient in a relationship. That is why I consider the working out of lesbian relationships and marriages is just a piece of cake when compared to straight or gay ones. So if two men (sorry ladies, I'm taking the extreme case) decide to get married to each other, don't you think they must have put so much love and effort in their relationship that they are now comfortable in taking the next big step? And if you wish to take away their right to marry, don't you think you are just choosing to be blind by disregarding their love? If you say marriages are made in heaven, why do you want to go against the union of two souls on earth? Or is your marriage so vulnerable that a gay marriage in the neighbourhood can lose the sanctity of yours? If that's the case, don't you think yours was the one that should have been stopped from happening?

I know we Indians have a long way to go in demanding our right to marry the one we love, when we are currently fighting for decriminalizing homosexuality in India. But I really don't understand the big deal in allowing two consenting adults in relationship to marry. What loss will the others face if a man weds a man or a woman weds a woman?

Crazy Sam's Bloginess

They raise the opinion that if today we allow gay marriages then tomorrow what will happen when someone wants to marry his or her dog! First of all, I would say all those who support this concept do not possess the common sense even of a fifth grader and they seriously need to get their goddamn mind cleansed! And secondly, dogs deserve more respect than them because at least they are loyal and they don't preach to hate. Then they want to pose the question that if today marriage between same gender is allowed, what would tomorrow's textbooks teach children about marriage. Again I'm asking, what is so bad about making the next generation realize that it is A-Okay to love and live with the one whom your heart desires for.

You can see how crucial the issue of gay marriage is when bloggers like Nathan say,
Gay marriage IS still important. It will always matter to me, because I will always be gay and Rodney will always be my partner. I will always want us to be married. And every year when my taxes roll around, I’m so coldly reminded once again that even though I pay the same amount of taxes as everyone else, I still have to check mark "Single" when I file them. In the eyes of America, this union doesn’t even exist, even though Rodney and I will be coming up on our 8th anniversary.

If you still can't get it, I guess the following video is the last resort in injecting some sense to you.

By the way, thanks Amit for discovering this video.

I know for us Indians, these issues may not be of major concern now. But it would be wise to realize that in future we would also be trotting down the same road!

Update - Wednesday, November 05, 2008:
Wanda Sykes is so wickedly funny in this video where she talks about how ridiculous it seems when people want to go against gay marriages instead of minding their own business. Thanks Nick for the link!

Update - Wednesday, November 12, 2008:
In this video, Keith Olbermann gives a powerful message to all those who supported Proposition 8. IF YOU VOTED 'YES', YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! You say you don't want to redefine marriage. How would you feel if black people couldn't marry white people? Or even worse, black people couldn't marry black people!! Because, there was a time in America when laws prohibited such marriages, similar to the one that is now existing that forbids gay marriages. And all because you voted 'Yes'.
Thanks Closetalk for informing me about this video and Eliot for hosting it on your blog.

Check out these related posts too!
The Gay Parade And The Media
Curing Homophobia
Is Internet Becoming Homophobic?

  • nick November 5, 2008 at 8:15 AM

    On a lighter note mon ami, I believe you should dedicate a blog post to my mum Wanda:


  • Crazy Sam November 5, 2008 at 9:51 PM

    Nick: Thank you dude! I have updated the post with this link.

  • Prash November 5, 2008 at 10:06 PM

    Gay Marriage (and eventually gay adoption) are issues which needs a broader mind for many. But for certain it is more practicality like you. There is some truth in what you just said here. But, I have difficulties in saying Yes I are troublesome as much as women are ! Yes, men have more temptations to have an affair, but so do women (I am not going to count my lady friends whoa re married and have affairs!).

    I think, before everything gay marriage is after all a "right" issue and "equality" after all. We all agree that being gay is not different and it is definitely not "not normal", if so, why not have the same choice/option like anybody else (to marry or not) ?

    Gay adoption is another issue...

    before talking about this for India, I think I would be happy if two men or women openly have a relationship and live together and openly say it out at work place and to neighbors (I consider myself lucky in that aspect!)...

  • Crazy Sam November 5, 2008 at 10:45 PM

    Prash: I knew you wouldn't completely agree on that one. In fact when I wrote that statement, I thought to myself, "Prash is so gonna disapprove this!" But I still feel that men are the easier lot to fall for lust.

    I agree with your sentiment that gay marriage in fact commands equality and we also should have the same choice like anyone else. But the blockage to all that is many people don't seem to agree with "being gay is normal." And imagine the dilemma they would have to suffer if we tell them about gay adoption!

  • Prash November 6, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    Well, I am curious now to know why you thought that I won't agree.

    I am gay. And I demand the same rights for have the choice - to marry or not to marry. Like anybody !

    I might not marry...but I want to have the option on the table like everybody else !

  • Crazy Sam November 7, 2008 at 8:43 AM

    Prash: Why did I think that? I seriously don't know. My mind just whispered when I reread that line.

  • Prash November 7, 2008 at 11:32 AM

    don't talk like my bf, now ! ;-) hahahahaha....

  • Anonymous November 9, 2008 at 8:32 AM

    we have lots of work to do in educating the ignorant and fighting hate. that work will pay off one day.

  • Anonymous November 10, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    The problem is most people think that marriage amongst homosexual is blasphemy. Since they usually equate it with the church thing when infact the purpose of this marriage is for two people to have a degree of rights as what other hetero couples enjoy. These people who are against it should get down from their crosses since somebody needs the wood

  • delphy November 11, 2008 at 4:09 AM

    that is sooo sweet 10x for posting

  • closetalk November 12, 2008 at 8:38 AM

    have u seen keith olbermann's support for gay marriage on msnbc? of course, one might say: why didn't this come BEFORE the vote, keith???

  • Crazy Sam November 12, 2008 at 9:59 AM

    Prash: Hehe. ;)

    Eliot: I too have that strong hope.

    Chase: Amen to that! I totally agree with your statement!

    Delphy: And thanks for dropping by and taking time to read.

    Closetalk: I saw the video after you mentioned it. I too think this should've been aired before the vote, coz then a large number of afro-americans would've had some sense before they voted.

  • Anonymous November 12, 2008 at 5:06 PM

    Very well said Samy,
    I don't understand why people make such hue and cry over marriage of two loving souls. After all It's union of two loving souls....

    Everyone has right to live with dignity and pride, and no one can prevent tht. Later many will realise their mistakes :)

  • The current exModians November 12, 2008 at 9:01 PM

    Awesome post! Beautifully thought out. You deserve a medal for this one, Sam.

    The lunatic bunch at exModia!

  • Crazy Sam November 14, 2008 at 7:43 PM

    BloggingKnight: Those who voted 'Yes' should realize their mistake.

    exModians: Thank you guys!

  • inaayat May 23, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Very thoughtful .. m talkin abt the video .. unfortunately such videos would be available only on internet and can not be broadcast on national television atleast in India as 377 still hasnt been modified to make homo-sexual acts lawful.
    Even if 377 is modified, there is a long way to make people understand that we are normal .. but then once it is modified and if its shown on television, seeing such videos will definitely help people think over it [coz they can then feel what it feels to go thru such situations - best way to make someone understand]

  • Anonymous February 24, 2010 at 4:02 AM

    hi i like and love ..a beautiful blog

  • B.D. December 28, 2010 at 3:29 AM

    The anti-gay marriage argument on the grounds of what will it lead to next or of how it may weaken the sanctity of heterosexual marriages are just attempts to rationalize what is basically a prejudicial position. The anti-gay position is completely identical to the former anti-negro position. Negroes were somehow inferior and polluted, and gays are now the ones seen this way. Once we finally get beyond this prejudice, what, I wonder, will be next.

  • IndianMetroGAY May 11, 2011 at 1:18 AM


    Though late at least we will get our rights. For people like us, it will take time but it will happen definitely.
    Good Work Sam.
    Keep posting such nice posts.

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