Sunday, July 27, 2008

But I Used To Be That Innocent..


When I had crush on Pete, it was more on the level of wanting to feel his warmth and attention, and nothing sexual. Of course I didn't know then, how a man gets stuff done with another man. I didn't know how to shag even though I was in early teens (but later I found out, that whatever play I was doing with it was indeed shagging! :P). I didn't even know how a man and a woman do the intercourse. Actually, I didn't know that there had to be so and so process to cause the birth of a baby. I believed that when a couple gets married, after a "fixed time" the God becomes happy and presents them the toddler. This was not told to me by anyone, I made this "theory" myself. It was when the question of second child came, I began to see that the theory could be a little wrong. Why some people have two or more kids? How can we tell to God if we don't want any more!

"And that's enough!"

I posed the question to my mother. She smiled and said, "Don't worry, for babies to be born, the man and the woman have got to do a thing."

"What thing?" I asked ever so innocently.

"The man and the woman has to touch their genitals with each other."

"Eeew!! Gross! Those are used for peeing!"

"That's true."

"I am so not going to make my willie touch with a thing that is used for peeing. People are sick!"

My mother laughed and got back to her chore. I guess, she didn't want to explain that there was more than touching that was needed.

Then later one time when I was watching Speed, I heard our Keanu Reeves keep on repeating the word, "fuck." I didn't know the meaning, but I started shouting, "Fuck Fuck FUCK!!"

Crazy Sam's Bloginess
"Fuck you!" :P

My mother stopped reading the magazine hearing the sudden outbursts of swears coming from me.

"Son, do you know the meaning of that word?"

"Hmm.. no I don't, you know?"

"It's something that is done while a man and a woman mate. You should not use that word."

"What do they do?"

"You should not use that word, it's not considered proper."

I guess, again she didn't want to give the real explanation.

But I was that innocent (read 'ignorant')! Anyways, I was meant to be tainted sooner or later. Thanks to the internet, I came to know.. see.. hear.. everything.. more than what I asked for!

But I used to be that innocent one time..

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The Realization

  • Anonymous July 27, 2008 at 10:15 AM

    *Giggles boyishly*
    I remember that blasted bus-ride back in 5th grade when a friend corrupted me. I was stunned, no doubt. Didn't believe it for quite some time, but it set in eventually.
    Sex education is done all wrong!

  • Crazy Sam July 27, 2008 at 10:36 AM

    Unsungpsalm: You can't just put it like that in one teeny sentence. I need to know the details. DETAILS!!! :D

  • Anonymous July 27, 2008 at 5:30 PM

    Aha! You are hereby charged with gossip-mongering. If convicted, you will have to bear the sentence that I am currently serving.

    Details? Oh, but there are none. We sat there, on the last seat in the bus, and a friend whispered the entire process to me. I sat there, shocked and disgusted, repulsed by the thought of having to show my fiddle to a girl someday.
    The thought of it still repulses me till today :P

  • Crazy Sam July 27, 2008 at 6:10 PM

    Unsungpsalm: You disappointed me dude. When you said your friend corrupted you, I thought you both had a little extra fun than the usual ones. (Oh I'm twisted like that, sometimes. :P)

    Instead you got a lecture on how to do it with a gal?? Eeew!!

  • Anonymous July 27, 2008 at 7:11 PM

    Oh, I would have certainly enjoyed a little extra fun with him :)
    Used to find him cute.

    Wasn't meant to be, though :(

    Oh... ugh... eww! I was like... 10 years old then! Samuel, stop it this instant :S :S

  • Crazy Sam July 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM

    Unsungpsalm: Heehee! Now you know why I call myself crazy!

  • pepe M. July 28, 2008 at 10:02 AM

    gosh, and i want to know how NAUGHTY sam can be now...*salivating*

  • Angela July 28, 2008 at 10:45 AM

    I don't remember when I found out what sex was... I know when I was little, I thought sex was just kissing naked. But I KNOW I knew what a condom was in 3rd grade....

  • Manish July 28, 2008 at 10:55 AM

    Buddy! Thanks for dropping in and commenting on my blog...Your posts are very touching, candid and honest, to say the least! I really enjoy reading all of them....Way to go buddy! Keep charming! :)

  • Crazy Sam July 28, 2008 at 7:41 PM

    Pepe: Yeah Pepe, I'd love to show you how naughty I can be, too bad you are committed! ;)

    Angela: Haha! Well, you got at least that much right. Obviously kissing naked could be very well the start of a full-fledged make out. :D

    Manish: Thanks buddy, I hope you would keep on flattering me with such praises! :D

  • Rambunctious WhipperSnapper July 28, 2008 at 8:59 PM

    Samuel, STOP using my trademark line this instant. It took me years and years of hard work to come up with something and now you've stolen it. :( ...

    As punishment, you shall be spanked very, very hard!! :P :P ...

  • Crazy Sam July 28, 2008 at 9:14 PM

    Whippy: You want me to stop using your trademark and then giving me reasons to use that even more?? Dude! Stop confusing me!! :P

  • fixator July 28, 2008 at 9:26 PM

    Hey Crazy Sam
    great post. We all were that naive at one stage or the other and not only in relation to sex...

  • Crazy Sam July 29, 2008 at 7:55 AM

    Fixator: Thanks dude. We all were, but I kinda remained naive for an unusually long time till the internet came for the rescue! :D

  • Sooo-this-is-me July 29, 2008 at 6:15 PM

    I remember a friend told me what "screwing" meant, I was shocked and grossed out, he said "yeah just like animals when they make babies!" I went home and asked my Dad if this was true, he turned a bright red and said no that was wrong and quickly walked away.

    Wow! They had a pride parade in India! Good for the GLBT community there! The media did the same crap here for years at first, there would be gay hockey teams, football teams, gay fathers and mothers etc, and the next day all the papers would show some man in a dress.

  • Ryan July 29, 2008 at 8:44 PM

    I remember there was a friend of mine who was in the car with her mom and she suddenly said the word "fuck" and her mother gave her a tight slap. Ouch!

  • Anonymous July 30, 2008 at 1:38 PM

    Ouch you bet!

    If I were to be slapped for each time I abused in front of my parents *shudders*

    If my parents were to be slapped for each time they abused in front of me *double shudder*

  • Kris Bass July 30, 2008 at 4:48 PM

    I wanked my willy upto late teenage not knowing that it amounts up to culpable masturbation.

    And great desgin, Sam. Would you mind detailing the process

  • Crazy Sam July 30, 2008 at 8:33 PM

    Steven: If only some one could come up with a decent explanation about the whole process, parents would not be having this much trouble putting it across to their kids. I guess they too expect us to know such stuff from our friends, which might get exaggerated.

    Ryan: That was too brutal. She could've scolded her, but not slapping in front of everyone.

    Unsungpsalm: Well.. I'm kinda like a gentleman in front of my parents and elders. So you wouldn't hear such words from me. But when I'm alone or with friends whom I feel comfortable, you could hear the f and s words constantly every time I get irritated.

    Kris Bass: Thanks dude. I wouldn't mind explaining the designing of this blog, but there is nothing much to explain after all. The blog layout is just ordinary and simple. I want my blog to be easy on the eyes. That's why I chose the white background. As you see, I used the three column template so that I can have more things at the top. About the blog banner, I didn't do much work on it besides pasting my blog title. And I always try to choose colours and pictures which do not make the eyes feel heavy. I hope I was able to do justice to your question. If you want to know specifically about anything on this blog, ask me. I will be glad to help you out.

    By the way, I checked out your blog. I especially liked your blog banner which is of course you only! *wink* :-P If I may suggest, you might try adding more colour on your blog posts with some pictures related to the entry.

  • gaymenace July 31, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    dont u think gays r a curse 2 dis world. v need children 2 protect humanity n 2 take care of us durin our old age

  • Crazy Sam July 31, 2008 at 8:16 PM

    Gaymenace: No, I don't. Do you fear that because of gays, the human race is going to see less reproduction? So what about the population explosion we are hearing every now and then! And why do you think gay people won't take care of the aged? Are you so damn certain that every straight people in this world is really that committed to taking care of the elderly?

    Dude spread love, not hate. And with reference to your latest blog post, stop associating homosexuals with pedophiles.

  • Anonymous July 31, 2008 at 9:26 PM

    Shoo! Scurry along now... nobody wants you hear... go away... shoo!

  • Rambunctious WhipperSnapper August 1, 2008 at 2:00 PM


    I'm sure you hear this a lot, but one more time, you need to seek professional help. Apparently, you suffer from paranoia, schizophrenia and you are clinically delusional.

    In case you still don't get it, please take you filthy, homophobic, hate-spreading, falsifying, carcass out of here.

    And don't visit a gay blog again. You may CATCH it. *gasp*

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