Friday, February 29, 2008

That Guy!


I was exhausted after the day's work and just wanted to relax for a while before heading to my apartment. I stopped the car at Heaven. The truth is I didn't feel like going to my place. Nothing but only walls are there to welcome me. If walls could talk, they would have had millions of words to describe about my loneliness. They see my solitary life every moment. They see how I try to console myself hugging the pillow during the nights. They see my tears whenever I look at the photo of my parents.

I ordered a beer and started thinking about all those good times. I was the only child and my parents brought me up centering all their love towards me. They didn't suspect when I didn't have a girlfriend. They didn't feel suspicious when I put wallpapers of Tom Cruise in my room. They didn't get the hint when I told them I didn't want to get married. I had determined to keep it as a secret till I find my other half. But fate had decided something else. The truth had to come out because I was forced to marry a girl that they searched for me. The whole world turned upside down that day. I was cursed and beaten and kicked out.

Tears again filled my eyes, but my thoughts were interrupted by a voice beside me. Seated next to me was a gorgeous hunk and the smell of his cologne took my breath away. He wore a tight t-shirt revealing his strong muscular hands. I could make out that he had a slightly hairy body. I didn't realize when he looked towards me and he knew what my eyes were up to. A sudden chill shot throughout my body. I didn't know what to do next. But he smiled and extended his hand for a handshake. I felt the heat shooting up inside me as I firmly gripped his strong hand. I looked into his sharp piercing brown eyes. Aah! I could just sink in them. And those beautiful lips! I wanted to kiss them forever!

After the intros, soon we were into talking stuff and I felt like I was in a trance. All my pains and worries seemed to vanish being with him. In my mind, there was something saying this could be it. Will this develop into something special? But isn't it all too soon to think about this? Or does love at first sight really exist? If this is what it feels like, then it surely does. If this is true, then the walls do not have to see my solitude any more. I don't have to console myself by hugging the pillow anymore. If this is true, then my lonely days are finally going to be over!!

Again my thoughts were interrupted by another voice, "Sorry the traffic held me up."

The next thing I saw was my guy getting up and kissing a beautiful lady.

He then looked at me, "Oh let me introduce you to my new friend."

I smiled and shook hands with her.

I didn't want to stay there any longer and excused myself saying that I was already late. I said bye to the couple and walked towards the car. Each footstep is now hard to take. My heart feels heavy. During the drive, I kept thinking how stupid I was to feel all that. On reaching my apartment, I turned the knob of the door and with a sigh, prepared for what is stored inside.

  • Queer Ranter March 1, 2008 at 9:03 AM


    Arranged marriage... Now you have a choice to make. What do you want to do?

    Live a life of lies or live the life you want.

  • Crazy Sam March 1, 2008 at 9:50 AM

    Queer Ranter: I would definitely choose the latter one. I have decided long back that I would not get married to a gal. If I do that, it will be like putting another person in to this whole mess. She too has the right to enjoy her life and it's not fair that I drag her in to this, knowing everything. My parents want me to get married by the time I am 30. I might be coming out to them before that. Let's see how everything turns up.

    At present, there is nothing to worry about. This post was just a fiction I wrote a few months ago, but yeah it conveys my fears too.

  • Anonymous March 2, 2008 at 1:13 AM

    Boy am I glad thats fiction!


  • Mohan Sutirtho Bhargava March 2, 2008 at 2:18 AM


    Think of a crazy situation! Suppose you have two profiles on Orkut. Consider yourself still in the closet. You've a straight profile for your school friends, college and company colleagues. Another one (although people call it a fake profile.. that's a misnomer - because that's the real you!) a 'gay' profile. A 'straight' guy reads your works and gets fuckking impressed with your articulate views and scraps you! You reply his scraps, his sister sees them, adds you. You tell her to read and see your profile carefully. She sees and even then tells she respects your views.

    Then you meet her, after you've become good friends. meanwhile in the process of being great friends you never discuss your 'gay' aspects. You meet her one fine day and she falls in love with you. You are now in dark, first you don't know if she has read your profile completely, even after you said. Secondly, consider she has read it, still she falls in love with you.

    What would you do?
    (Well the plot is fictional and not inspired from real life! But you need to answer the question as if it had happened with you in real life, and you found a solution!)

  • Mohan Sutirtho Bhargava March 2, 2008 at 2:21 AM

    That was a spiced up situation. Anyway, I forgot to comment on your work.

    Well, I found your post very expressive, as it brings out the subtle imbroglios we always sex up into at certain point of time. It's better to forgive and forget than ruminate over it!!

  • Soul Seared Dreamer March 2, 2008 at 4:55 PM

    It took a few seconds to realise that was fiction.

    I was all worried for a few seconds.


  • Crazy Sam March 3, 2008 at 9:13 AM

    Orange: Lol!! Thanks for stopping by.

    Mohan: That is a spiced up situation indeed! I guess you could very well use the plot to write another story, that you are always so good at.

    Coming to your question, I don't see my future being married to a gal. Even if she falls in love with me, it would be unfair if I could not satisfy all her needs. Though initially this won't matter much, but after some time when the initial infatuation fades away, she might start to regret about her decision. And I can't go on meeting other guys for dating if I am in a relationship. So as you see, this sort of arrangement can only lead to frustration and disappointments.

    Though this may seem highly improbable (coz as you know life can be highly unpredictable), if at all I fall in love with a gal, I then will have a very tough decision to make.

    And I would love to see how you would execute this plot. *wink*

    Amit: Lol! I'm so sorry for causing you that worry. It was purely intentional. :D

  • Mohan Sutirtho Bhargava March 3, 2008 at 9:34 AM

    A plot, an idea, a good story --- all seems rosy!

    But I am a procrastinator! Need I say more? :P

  • pepe M. March 3, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    man, you have a knack of a story teller...and gosh, its gud it is this post..

  • Crazy Sam March 7, 2008 at 7:31 AM

    Pepe: Thank you dude!! Hugs.

  • monkie April 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM

    "cursed and beaten and kicked out"??? HA! As if any mother could possibly let go of a son as sweet as you :x

  • thanks.. July 8, 2008 at 9:44 PM

    It´ll all Crazy, wait and watch, it´ll all change! All the best for your life!

  • Er. Ruchit July 26, 2013 at 12:45 PM

    First of all I came to this blog from a link in some forum where someone was trying to make up list of gay blogs from India. The over all Interface made me really go crazy, Kudos to you man, its better than chennidost and other blogs I've come across. I dont know how google did not return your blog in searches ..

    Er. Ruchit
    (A new gay blogger, Think I need to take a leaf from your book)

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