You Are Gay!

Every homosexual soul's important chapter of his/her life would be the time he/she decides to reveal that secret. Most of us would not dare to do an announcement to the whole world, instead we choose that one person whom we feel the most comfortable to talk to. I seriously thought I would never have the courage to open up to someone regarding this. During pre-college days, though I had some serious crushes, the friends I had then were unfit for such a revelation. I saw the light of hope of gaining some trustworthy friends (mostly gals) only when I reached college. Even then, I always had the impression that my first coming out would be to a guy. The time was acting really bitchy then, making me feel guilty, making me go insane. I so desperately wanted to end this game of acting, pretending to be someone that I was not.


One afternoon, we were having a free period. So I called my friend, Phoebe and we both sat on an empty bench. She had noticed my uneasiness during the past couple of days and was pestering me like anything to spit it out whatever I was having in my mind. I gave her a build up so as to make her know that the issue was not a frivolous one. When the time finally came to unveil the secret, I lost all my courage to word it out. Hence she had to throw situations at me for which I had to say yes or no. Minutes passed and she was not even getting anywhere near to it. I told her to imagine the most unlikely things that she could associate with me.

So she asked, "You have AIDS."
"No."

"err.. you killed someone?"
"No."

"hmmm... you are gay."
"Yeah."

I could see her eyes popping out with disbelief, "What!??"
Still not getting convinced, "Are you sure?"

It took me some time to actually make her understand that I wasn't joking. (I guess I am that straight-acting!) But then she began to see the reason why she felt that I was different from the rest of the guys on some level. She was totally supportive with the whole issue. To this day, I believe that was one of the wisest decisions I have ever made - choosing her to come out. This experience gave me the confidence to come out to another three gals and then finally to a guy!

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