Thursday, April 24, 2008

Why Indian Brides Are In Trouble


One of my good friends got married recently. Though we meet only once or twice a year, we always have a great time when he comes to my city. When we first met, it started out as a complete disaster with one awkward moment after another. But by the end of the day, everything cooled down and Davis and I decided to keep in touch. I used to feel envious when I see the ease at which he flirts with guys and I always wished that I could be that proficient. He surely would be furious and at the same time I would be exaggerating if I say that I always associated him with Jack from Will & Grace. Though Davis used to have his share of fun, I expected him to settle down with a guy in the end. And I know he wanted to.

When I learnt that Davis was getting married, I asked him whether he was doing that out of compulsion from his mother. He was not. The truth is, he had enough of all the unstable relationships and was wishing for some stability in his life. So here is a guy who knows his ways with guys, but somehow or the other was never successful in having a relationship and decides to settle down with a gal. I still can't picture him as a married guy and probably won't, even if I see him with his wife. But I'm feeling uneasy. And I don't think I'm that concerned about him to let myself feel this way. I feel as if Davis is portraying what my life would be after some five years. I'm 23 and still haven't found a guy that interests me (Oh please! I'm not that strict on the turn-on list) and the ones that I see some chance shut me off completely. Right now I'm damn sure that I don't want to marry a gal. But I'm not sure about what could happen after five years when I'm still failing to find a compatible guy and my parents forcing me to marry a gal. Will I surrender to my selfish needs to feel committed? Will I turn a blind eye on what I'm doing to the gal in order to make my parents happy? Will I sacrifice my utopian dream of living with my guy happily ever after?

Although I'm not that superstitious, but these astrologers are surely giving me a hard time. The recent guy told my parents that I need to be married off by the time I am 27 or else my marriage could happen only very late. And add to that about the prediction of me having two children. EEKS!! If they possess the power they claim to have, why can't they frigging tell my parents that I might not be liking the idea of marrying a woman!

By the way, I'm surprised to see the profiles of two teenage guys (probably around 18) in my city stating that they are openly homosexual to their friends and families. I admire their courage to come out so early in their lives even though this is a homo-hating country and hats off to the families and friends who proudly support them!

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  • monkie April 24, 2008 at 6:09 AM

    Ok Sam, two things:
    1. If you ever did decide to settle down with a woman, it wouldn't be doing her a disservice as long as you were *honest* about it. While it's rare, I have seen relationships like this that end up working. The marriages are about teamwork and friendship, instead of about romance, but there can still be a kind of love there.
    2. That said, I really don't think you should give up on your dreams of finding that perfect guy to settle down with... and I still think that once you finally decide to come out to your family your mother will still support you. Maybe that's just because I can't ever think of NOT supporting my own kids (but I do know she loves you with all her heart, just from the things you've mentioned)

    3. ok, I lied, there's a third thing LOL... Sam, you WORRY too damn much :D

  • Rambunctious WhipperSnapper April 24, 2008 at 7:45 AM

    Sam .. Sam .. Sam .... You are frikin 23. So put a lid on it!!!! :$ You are gona find someone ..... so while waiting for Mr Right, please enjoy mr right now . (dunno whr i stole it from)(though for me both situations are hypothetical, right now).

    And seriously? Settling down with a girl? To use your example, do you really see yourself living with grace adler?

    Dude, please don't beleive astrologers. Mine told me that I'm gonna have three wives who are gonna bear a total of 15 children. And that should've started to happen 2 years ago. Apparently, I can have my own IPL franchise if I have 15 kids!!! :P :P :P :P

  • Crazy Sam April 25, 2008 at 9:20 AM

    monkie: Yeah I know, many have told me that with the rate at which I worry, I surely would be having high blood pressure. Your comments always comfort me monkie. I still read the mail you sent me that time regarding NARTH. Thank you for caring so much. Your children are really blessed to have such an awesome and wonderful mother.

    Rambunctious WhipperSnapper: Haha.. as usual you crack me up! Well.. I don't want to see myself living with any gal. And I don't believe in astrologers, but my parents do and there is a high chance that by the time I am 27, they must have already started searching for a gal. Being the only one makes the issue all the more worse.

  • pepe M. April 25, 2008 at 12:12 PM

    succumbing to parents is bullocks sam but i know its pretty diff story in go ahead and tell them will surely lessen yur trouble (or so i thought...)

    i will commit harakiri if sam is getin married to a pussy :)


  • Soul Seared Dreamer April 26, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    I've battled this is my own mind.

    I'm not sure.. if my head ever concluded this subject one way or another.

    But for now.. that a far off notion that is very unlikely to happen for me.

    The crunch point is: I couldn't marry a girl under false pretences. And I doubt that will ever change.

    But you raise a very important subject.

  • Rambunctious WhipperSnapper April 26, 2008 at 5:38 PM

    You've been tagged !!

  • Sh@ney April 27, 2008 at 1:16 AM

    I'm sorry babe but I have my doubts a gay man will find everlasting happiness in the arms of a woman. You can't just flick a switch and say I'm not gay unless he is bisexual of course. Which means he may be inclined to get a bit on the side. Always ends in disaster. I just hope he knows what he really wants because ultimately the one who will get hurt is the wife.

    Your so young babe, there is plenty of time for you to find that special someone. Just enjoy yourself and he may even find you!
    I wish I had of been actively gay at 23. But hey we all do what we feel is right at the time. Even if it's not!

    hugs to you xoxo

  • Crazy Sam April 27, 2008 at 9:30 AM

    Pepe: I had to google what harakiri meant and I will never want you to do that! :)

    Yeah I will tell them one day, but not now. Strangely I'm not feeling afraid to tell them right now. But I am waiting for the appropriate moment, which anyways I know is not gonna happen anytime soon. *Hugs*

    Amit: I guess for you it will be more easy to say no. So I will be closely watching your actions. LOL!

    Rambunctious WhipperSnapper: You brat! Don't you know that I hate being tagged!! Because then I have to think deeply and I don't want to do that. Hehe.. Anyways, thanks for tagging me (yeah rite!) and I will see what I can come up with.

    Sh@ney: I know friends from online who regret of getting married and then some of them having to go through the divorce mess. And I am not bisexual, so there is no switch for me and even if there is one, it is always stuck at one position. :p

    I wish Indian society were not so meddling in other's personal preferences.

  • Sh@ney April 28, 2008 at 11:35 AM

    LOL Sam Good to hear your stuck babe...In the right position...*winks*

  • Chris April 29, 2008 at 11:45 AM

    Great Blog, wanted to say hi and to say I will be reading your blog on a regular basis. You sound like a great guy! xoxo


  • Crazy Sam May 1, 2008 at 9:20 PM

    Sh@ney: Hehe.. yeah I love that I am gay even though there are some muddles. :D

    Chris: Hey! Hi Chris! Thanks for the nice words. You made my day! And I will try to update the blog regularly. :)

  • Sam May 6, 2008 at 1:28 PM

    OMG - monkie is reading here too! :D From 360 to Blogger - LOL!

    Actually, I was the opposite - I couldn't deal with girls, and after countless tries dating girls - I tried guys and succeeded. Different eh? :D

  • Crazy Sam May 8, 2008 at 1:11 AM

    Sam: I so wish I had your luck dude. Yeah monkie reads my blog, isn't that so wonderful of her!! :p

  • Alex Appleton April 16, 2009 at 4:07 PM

    Indian Brides are really so lovely, clam and shy in nature.

    Russian Bride

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