Ask Sam: I Need Help

Dear Sam,

I am 19 years old. I am out to only a few of my friends. You probably get dozens of emails with the same problem everyday. But I would still request you to help me out. I dunno, when I came out to my friends I thought things would get better. But they haven't. I still feel all alone. I want to meet more people like me. I don't want just friends, but a boyfriend :P

But I can't possibly do that until I come out completely, can I?

So I have this weird feeling of being stuck all the time. I have college exams coming up soon. But I can't study. I can't afford to screw up my grades. What will a talentless gay nerd with lousy grades accomplish in life!

So how about you writing an initiation guide for all 19 year olds who are stuck and are all alone?

Please do reply as soon as possible. I really do need to talk to someone. I would love it if I could have a reply as soon as I send it. But that's too much to hope for isn't it?

Yours scared and terrified,

Moviebuff

Dear Moviebuff,

I have been through the same situation as yours, so I can understand what you are going through. We all want to be in love, to be with that special someone. I hope your friends were supportive when you came out to them. But you don't have to be out and open to find your guy. You will still be able to find your guy without letting anyone know. You can find similar-interested guys at gay dating sites or even on Facebook.

But right now, what you must give priority should be your studies. Searching for love is best when you are settled down, financially independent and when you have a nice job. Trust me, I wasted lot of my time during your age looking for love. In the end, I got lesser grades than my classmates and they have gotten through big MNCs and are enjoying big pay cheques. My life got derailed in the meanwhile, tried so hard to make everything ok, but was only partly successful. If I could turn back the time, I would have spent all those times in studying and not for finding a boyfriend.

Love is a gift. You don't necessarily have to search for it. It just happens. The more you try to chase it, the farther it goes. But it doesn't mean you just hope that love would knock at your doorstep without doing anything. You have to keep your options open to meet and socialize with guys. But now is not the right time for all that. Probably you can explore meeting guys after your exams.

Now just think that whatever time you invest in studying, you will be rewarded in terms of grades, and then a job and a boyfriend at a later stage.

All the best!

Check out these related posts too!
Ask Sam: Confused About Sexuality
Ask Sam: Entangled With A Married Guy
Ask Sam: Closeted But Acting Homophobic