Ask Sam: Gay Or Not

Recently, I was chatting with a guy who had an issue about identifying his sexuality. He is 25 years old.

I'm really confused about my sexuality. If you ask me, I don't know whether I'm straight, gay or bisexual. Once I met a guy from online with the intention of having a relationship. We became very close. But when it came to sex, I started feeling hesitant. At last I agreed to do it, but I couldn't enjoy and I had to stop it in the middle. I had no such problems when I did it with a gal. But I do not understand why I keep searching for a guy, I'm so confused.

When I probed further, I came to know that he has no brothers or sisters. He has many friends but he couldn't find anyone suitable to be close with. I'm no psychologist, but I being the only child, I know how frustrating and lonely one can feel in his shoes. To tell you the truth, I always wished for a brother, an elder brother. So what I understand from this guy's situation is that since he was the only child and he didn't have any close buddy, he was trying to fill that void by searching for a guy with whom he can share some intimate feelings, like those straight guys feel for their best buds.

Last week I happened to see a beautiful sight. A guy came and hugged his friend from behind and both of them stood like that for some time. They were not at all feeling conscious of what the public might think (in fact, the people there didn't mind at all!), unlike gays who find even holding hands to be horrific. As usual, I started feeling jealous for the guy who was being hugged because I wanted to be that guy and also the other guy was looking so damn good! :P

In my opinion, we all yearn to be touched by people whom we care and love. It makes us feel wanted and important. And for guys, after their infancy, they count on siblings and close friends to give this. When they don't get that, there feel an emptiness, something missing in their lives. Girls usually don't feel the void because of the "sisterhood" they develop with their mothers. That's why I'm of the sentiment that if the firstborn is a male, you just gotta have to push down one more!

Coming back to this guy, I told him, instead of searching guys for relationships what he really should be doing is to find a guy for intimate friendship, with whom he could give and get all the attention and care. I also suggested to him not to be quick in labeling himself as gay or bisexual because as far as I can see, he is just like any other straight guy.

So I would love to know your opinion regarding this. What do you have to say about his situation?

By the way, there is this another guy who says he is not born or made gay, but he feels like he could be gay when he reads this blog. Hmm.. are you telling me this blog has the magic to convert straights now? :P

Check out these related posts too!
Ask Sam: Help Thy Gay Friend
Ask Sam: 4th Time Unlucky?

This post is not over yet! Click here to continue reading.

Click here to shrink this post.