The Fifth Kerala Queer Pride March

Photography by Sreejith K Soman

Ever since I returned to Kochi after my five years in Mumbai, I am sensing a different vibe from the current generation - a vibe of open-mindedness, of cosmopolitanism and of breaking away from the conservative shackles exhibited by the previous generations. That feeling was proved true when almost 500 people gathered in Kochi last Saturday to march for the 5th Kerala Queer Pride.

A major chunk of the participants were straight supporters who feel strongly for the LGBT rights cause. Varkey Parakal, a class 12 student, feels that this is a human rights cause as well. "I have always been a supporter for causes regarding human rights and the LGBT rights are not any different." They were also not worried about getting labeled as gay while supporting the cause. There were straight supporters who held placards that shouted, ‘Happy Being Gay.’ Mohini Mohandas, another class 12 student says, “I don’t mind being called lesbian, bisexual etc. Because it would be like a person getting my age wrong - something harmless and correctable.”

Photography by Surjith S Pai

The pride march is also a group therapy of sorts for the gay people and the watching public, opines Kishor Kumar, a software engineer and writer who had come all the way from Calicut - a few districts north of Kochi. “Most members of the LGBT community live in constant fear and shame; this is a chance for them to witness the support and acceptance showered by the public.”

Photography by Surjith S Pai

The Kochi queer pride march had many firsts to it. 

- This was the first time a queer pride happened in Kochi. Previous editions were held in the neighbouring district of Thrissur and once in Calicut.

- This was the first queer pride that was held in Kerala after the Supreme Court struck down the earlier Delhi High Court verdict which had decriminalized non-penile-vaginal sexual acts.

- This was the first pride march in Kerala which saw people, barring one or two, marching without any mask.

- Kerala queer prides started happening after the High Court verdict, hence all the previous versions were celebrations of sorts. This time, now with the Supreme Court verdict, the pride also had the flavour of protest - demanding to do away with the Section 377 law.

- The Kochi queer pride also saw the highest participation so far compared to any of the previous Kerala queer pride editions.

Photography by Surjith S Pai

Photography by Surjith S Pai

The pride march was flagged off by the celebrity and TV personality, Ranjini Haridas, who had spoken passionately in favour of the LGBT community in a news interview at the time of the Supreme Court verdict. Before the flag off, she addressed the gathering saying, "As a woman I feel safer in the company of people from the LGBT community. They are some of the most passionate, talented and honest people I know." In an interview with Deccan Chronicle, she further adds, "We are brought up in a society where heterosexual relations are a norm and anything else is considered immoral. However, if you ask anyone in the LGBT community, they will tell you it's not really a choice, that they were born this way."

Celebrity and TV Personality, Ranjini Haridas | Photography by Ajay Paul

Ranjini Haridas with Kerala Queer Pride participants | 
Photography by Sreejith K Soman

By now the monsoon clouds were gathering fast, darkening the sky. But it felt like even the nature was supporting the cause - throughout the 90 minute walk, not even a drop of rain tried to interrupt us. From the premises of the Kerala High Court, the march commenced with a group of Harleys leading the way. A line of police accompanying on one side to control the participants and traffic, the procession inched forward shouting slogans - “My Body My Right!”, “Section 377 Down Down!” While the band played popular Malayalam and Hindi songs, some participants danced to the tunes, some waved the rainbow flags and colourful balloons; some held the placards with pro-LGBT messages – a visual which was a first for the Kochi public, attracting many curious onlookers. The pride walk finally culminated at the Rajendra Maidan, post which the public meeting and cultural performances were held at the nearby Mahrajas College hall.

The Head of Alternative Law Forum, Arvind Narain (on the right, holding the flag) | Photography by Surjith S Pai

The transgender rights activist, Kalki Subramaniam | Photography by Surjith S Pai

The fifth Kerala Queer Pride march was organized by Queer Pride Keralam – a coalition of approximately 30 organizations working on art, culture, social, human rights and environmental issues. Apart from Ranjini Haridas, this year’s march saw the presence of well-known personalities such as Kalki Subramaniam - the transgender rights activist from Chennai, Shahabaz Aman – the Malayalam playback singer, Rekha Raj – the Dalit rights activist and Arvind Narain – one of the prominent lawyers fighting the Section 377 case in the Supreme Court and the Head of Alternative Law Forum, Bangalore. A memorandum aimed to be presented to the Kerala government, which puts forward the many urgent needs of sexuality minorities of Kerala, was also signed by hundreds of people who attended the public meeting.

Photography by Ajay Paul

Photography by Surjith S Pai

Photography by Surjith S Pai

To see more photos of the Kochi pride march, click here.

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Why It Is Important For Parents To Tell Their Kids To Be Gay Friendly
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Why It Is Important For Parents To Tell Their Kids To Be Gay Friendly

One of my colleagues recently stated that gays are always sentimental, depressed and emotional; as if these conditions are natural if one is gay. But were we born with these conditions? No! They were inflicted upon us knowingly or unknowingly, which if we trace back to our childhood, will help us to understand.

I began to get confused about my sexuality when I was around 7. There was something that got me attracted to men at that very early age. And I didn't know there could be the remotest possibility that there are other guys who are experiencing the same. The visuals and texts around me suggested that a man is to be paired with a woman. The thought that I could be the sole person in this world to have such thoughts and not knowing where to seek help could be one of the early traumas I had to go through. I remember the numerous conversations I had in my mind talking to God, begging to throw some light. What I ended up receiving was more and more chaos. Why many gay men are prone to high level of anxieties and depression episodes? This chaos could have probably caused that. When we were kids, our tender mind was subjected to multiple levels of internal battle, more than it could handle. And we didn't know how to reach out to our parents for help, because we doubted whether they would understand us or the worst case, they could stop loving us.

Studies suggest that in the absence of a reliable caring adult, such intense trauma could lead to disturbing the neurochemical balance in the brain, decreased brain growth, and negatively impacting the neuronal pathways. The after-effect of these developments are long term which means they will be carried throughout a kid’s adulthood resulting in low self esteem, depression, anxiety, social and attention problems, behavioural disabilities etc. 

Such self-inflicted emotional abuse can be the most dangerous form of all abuses. It makes them weak within, not able to protect themselves, not able to stand up for themselves. This insecurity could in turn attract bullies and sexual predators seeing that they are an easy target, leaving them exposed to even more traumatic episodes. By the time, the kid attains adulthood, the mind is scarred beyond repair and the aforementioned after-effects keep haunting him. Add to that the social stigma, the pressure to lead a double life, the nagging of parents and relatives to get married - the world doesn't appear rosy at all for most of the homosexuals. 

These vicious series of events can be prevented to a large extent by the people whom the child searches for when he feels scared or threatened. The parents. 

At a time when parents are given the responsibility to give their children the first sex education (from the age of 3 onwards), it is utmost important that they discuss about sexuality and tell them to be gay friendly. The benefits of this approach can work out in two ways. 

One. If the child indeed turns out to be gay, he wouldn't have to go through the endless circle of emotional trauma. He knows where to reach out to when faced with perplexity. Knowing that his parents doesn't love him any less can give him the strength from within, the ability to face the world without any underlying turbulence, and lends him the emotional health equal to that of his straight peers. Not to forget that only when one is sound emotionally can he invest in deep love and healthy relationships. 

Two. If the child is straight, he has already got a clarity on gays from the people whom he considers as reliable source, leaving no room for misconceptions about homosexuality. The chances of him turning out to be homophobic would be minimal and would not face the mental block in accepting gays as equals. 

Therefore, as you see, the solution lies within the home. 

And now ponder upon how this solution is inherently present in the case of gay parents..

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka with their kids

Check out these related posts too!
My First March For Equality 
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My First March For Equality

Photography by: Praful Baweja

“I was feeling flustered seeing the large number of gay men and women around me as I realized I belong to the minority here. Then it struck me! This must be what gay people go through each day and it seriously takes strength to face that and carry on. That realization washed away whatever awkwardness I was feeling and gave me the assurance to march for equality.” These are the words of Ankit, 23, one among the many straight folks who participated in this year’s Queer Azaadi Mumbai gay pride march which was held on Feb 2nd.

Photography by: Gaylaxy Magazine

More than 2500 turned up for the pride march which also included considerable percentage of straight people to show their solidarity for their LGBT friends / relatives and to support the cause of equality. Mansi, a straight supporter opined we should celebrate our lives for being born as humans and there should be no divide amongst us. Many such sentiments were shared before the commencement of the procession. There was a mother who came for her gay son, a sister for her lesbian sister, but the most touching one was of the two sisters who were there to show support for their lesbian mother.

Photography by: Gaylaxy Magazine

Queer Azaadi Mumbai (QAM) is an umbrella of 20 key non-governmental LGBT support groups and organizations, institutionalized in 2008 to conduct the annual gay parade in Mumbai asking for equal rights of LGBTIQ (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersexed Queer) individuals. The first QAM parade in 2008 demanded reading down of IPC 377 that criminalized homosexuality and saw a turnout of about 500, a pleasant far cry from 15 during India’s first gay pride march (called the ‘Friendship March’) when held at Kolkata in 1999. However this year’s edition ran into a bit of chaos when the Mumbai traffic police denied permission. But thanks to the persistent efforts of QAM organizers, the police reconsidered their decision and the necessary permissions were in place just 5 days before the designated day. The organizers revealed that a horde of 35 permissions were required to carry on an event of this massive scale.

Photography by: Praful Baweja

Even though India embarked upon a post IPC 377 era with the landmark judgement by Delhi High Court decriminalizing homosexuality in July 2009, LGBT community is still at the receiving end of severe homophobia and is being subjected to various social stigmas. Even when World Health Organization declassified homosexuality as a mental illness in May 1990, many still view gay men and women as a ‘diseased’ lot. Parents look out to ‘cure’ their homosexual sons and daughters so that they can be fit into the customary societal norms of getting them married and bringing forth offsprings. There have been many instances of forced marriages of gay individuals which have ultimately resulted in divorces or even worse, led them to depression and suicides. Many sections of media and mainstream cinema still project homosexuality in bad taste with stereotypes and violate the private lives of an already marginalised community. Gay people are still being bullied and discriminated at educational institutes and work places.

Photography by: Praful Baweja

To highlight these plights, gay parades are now being organized at various cities as well as to force the public to take notice that homosexuality and transsexuality are very much existent in India. Perhaps one of the positive transitions that have come about is that people no longer feel the need to wear masks indicating a stronger self acceptance and confidence of who they are. This was my very first gay parade and even I didn’t feel like hiding my face though there were scores of shutterbugs capturing the colourful visuals of the carnival.

Photography by: Niyas Khader

Photography by: Niyas Khader

The procession saw sarcastic, thought provoking and funny banners and slogans. “1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. Homophobia out the door! 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. Don’t assume your child is straight!” - a group of ladies shouted. The dhol nagada gave a spirited and vigorous ambiance of festivity. People danced and shouted slogans while the procession limped forward as curious onlookers watched from the pavements and nearby buildings. I felt a sense of blissfulness for being part of a movement, of a cause that I deeply believe in. Those 65 minutes of walk were in fact life changing moments for me. It was the first time I didn’t care what other people thought about me, I didn’t care if I was seen by a colleague or a friend, I didn’t care if I got clicked by the media. I even posted on my Facebook that I was walking the gay pride march so that my colleagues and friends could see.

Photography by: Niyas Khader

It is one thing to read or watch the pride parades, but it is an altogether different experience when you participate in one.. exhilarating to say the least!

Photography by: Praful Baweja

Thanks Praful Baweja, Niyas Khader and Gaylaxy Magazine for helping me with your photographs.

Check out these related posts too!
Bangalore Gay Pride March Montage By Amar Mitra
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Bangalore Gay Pride March Montage By Amar Mitra

Last week Bangalore celebrated their annual gay pride march and 25 year old Amar Mitra, a freelance cinematographer, was one among the many who turned up to show their support and participate in the walk. But then he ended up doing much more than that; his assemblage of photographs that captured the ebullient spirit of the march is now garnering wide appreciation.

Amar (in the photo), who has a bachelor’s degree in Multimedia with a film production minor, was instantly inspired by the regalia of colours at the parade.

“Being there, I realized everyone had their own unique story. There was so much to say, so much to be heard. I decided to capture the uniqueness of each person, costume, vantage point. I wanted my pictures to feel personal. Set against the pride itself, I wanted to make each fabulous person stand out. And that’s what I tried to do.”

The way each shot brings out exuberance is just amazing!

“I shot on a canon 550D through a 50mm prime and a 55-250 telephoto,” Amar explains. “Mostly telephoto to stay far enough to capture the true essence, but go close and get personal.”

Below is a video-montage from the Bangalore gay pride march - shot, edited, compiled, graded and coloured by Amar.

Email subscribers will have to visit the blog site to watch the video.

Amar is now planning to pursue MS in Digital Cinema or MFA in cinematography. So would he be interested in capturing Mumbai Pride Week scheduled in January?

“Sure! I would love to, if someone wants to sponsor my stay. I have never been to Mumbai, so I should wait and see what happens.”

The photographs and video featured in this post are used with permission from Amar Mitra.

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The Great Indian Mainstreaming Of Homosexuality

Often I have expressed my anger and frustration about how media was being insensitive when dealing with topics surrounding homosexuality and how we were always misrepresented. However, over the past few months, I see that there has been a drastic change on what’s been written about us. Thanks to the High Court rule decriminalizing gay sex, it seems that the media has now got a new-found courage to not to stick to the usual perceptions and instead, they are now trying to bring out the real stories behind the rainbow. And the best part is they are doing this with no qualms which in a sense I feel as if they are shouting, screaming and discussing the topic like never before to compensate all these years of misrepresentation.

In the month of February this year, for the Sunday magazine of Hindustan Times newspaper – Brunch, the publication ran a cover story titled ‘One Man’s Story’, about the famous stand-up comedian, Vidur Kapur. The article very vividly narrated the troubled childhood and confusion Vidhur had to go through and he couldn’t find any solace from his family either. With every passing day, his self-esteemed dipped making him slip into depression which provoked him to take his life. Even though he didn’t succeed in the attempt, his sufferings didn’t end with this. Soon he had to come out to his family and instead of getting support, he was subjected to even more humiliation – the psychologist they took him to even did chromosome tests on him, to check whether he was a normal male! The doctors, his family and his friends – no one understood him and he shut himself off from the outside world. This moving account then talks about how Vidhur finally made peace with his sexuality, how he tore down all the walls he had built around him, how he found his love and in the end what led to his parents welcome their “son in law”!

To download and read the PDF of the article, click here.

The struggles that Vidhur faced, is experienced by many of us. When I was under depression because of failing to understand why I’m feeling something which was unusual, my parents were not aware. Like many of us, the path of accepting my sexuality was frustrating and tiring, to say the least. And this is why ‘coming out’ is such a big event for us, because it marks the end of a long struggle. This facet of us perhaps was never openly talked about in the mainstream media, until now. And this could be the beginning of the change in their attitudes – sensitizing and enlightening the readers through personal accounts of people like us.

When Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality in 2009, certain political and religious groups challenged the verdict and brought the matter in front of the Supreme Court. However, a touching development took place following this. 19 parents of LGBT children from across the country (along with a group of 16 academics and teachers, and a group of 14 mental health professionals) came forward and submitted their petition to counter this homophobic move. The group of parents is led by Mrs. Minna Saran, the mother of late Nishit Saran.

Nishit was an aspiring film maker and in 1999, he filmed his coming out to his mother. Mrs. Saran accepted her son for who he was. Sadly, Nishit died in a tragic road accident three years later.

In February, The Indian Express daily carried a full-fledged cover story in their Sunday supplement, Express Eye about these parents who dared to openly support their children. The article’s headline screamed, ‘My Son Is Gay, And I’m Proud Of Him’. A very moving piece, it talks about how they felt when their children came out to them and what they thought of the hogwash propagated by their (our) opposition.

You can read the online version of the Express Eye article by clicking here and to watch Nishit's moving documentary of his coming out, "Summer In My Veins", click here to reach the post where I had shared the video long ago.

Last Sunday, NDTV aired the show 'We The People' devoted to the parents’ petition. This is another bold move to bring out the issue to the forefront which showed the parents and the children sharing their experiences and thoughts. During the program it was highlighted how it was clearly breaking the long associated stereotype of gay males being effeminate. It also focused on another important aspect of how the schools should sensitize the issue of sexuality and the care and approach a counselor should take on while counseling a child who seeks help regarding his or her sexuality.

Click on the play button below to watch the episode. If you're reading this post from an email you will have to access the site to view the video.

While the whole effort deserves a standing ovation, I just have one chafe - I feel highly disturbed when someone considers homosexuality as a ‘choice.’ Is heterosexuality a choice? For most of us this was never a choice, but a realization. I feel, equating it with choice is actually insulting our journey of acceptance of who we are.

Now I have to strongly emphasize and appreciate the efforts of a newspaper for having balls to come up with their initiative. These guys have actually gone ahead one step further than the rest and are truly mainstreaming homosexuality.

Check out the snapshot of clippings below.

For the past two months, DNA newspaper (that’s acronym for Daily News Analysis and not the Australian gay lifestyle magazine) has been dedicating an entire page in their Sunday edition for LGBT issues. This section called 'Out Of The Closet', features diverse stories and realities of what it feels to be part of a minority that is ridiculed and shunned. DNA journalists are talking to various people in the community and bringing out their voice to the much larger audience. This specific page also features guest articles from the well known LGBT personalities in India and provides an update on LGBT news from around the world! Seriously, what more can we ask for! When we were growing up, we had no source of information to reach out to. Hell! We didn’t even know there was a category of population termed homosexuals! (and bisexuals and transsexuals – to be politically correct). And now that this topic is been discussed and debated openly, the path of acceptance of one’s sexuality would hopefully be a much shorter walk for the new generation.

For the sake of convenience for CSB readers, I have collated the 'Out Of The Closet' pages appeared till now and combined them into a PDF. To download and read, click here.

India is also witnessing a trend where entrepreneurs are identifying and realizing the potential of a section of the market which had remained untapped. Now a string of services have sprung up to address the growing demand from the LGBT community. We now have a travel boutique that specifically caters to gays - Indjapink, an exclusive gay event management firm - Salvation Star, a fashion store for gay men - D’Kloset, a retail store that sells practically everything LGBT related from t-shirts and accessories to mugs - Azaad Bazaar, a dedicated web portal to shop for queer books, DVDs and CDs - Queer Ink, an annual International LGBT Film Festival - Kashish, a gay lifestyle magazine - Fun and the latest, a discount card specifically for the LGBT crowd (claiming to be Asia's first) that is going to be launched on April 27. The tabloid Sunday Mid Day carried an article, 'It's A Pink Deal' (again a cover story) in January on the boom of Pink commerce in India (especially in Mumbai), which was written as a precursor for the Mumbai Pride Week.

To download the PDF of this article, click here.

The Supreme Court of India is expected to deliver the final judgment on legalization and decriminalization of gay sex sometime after July. There are many who have been fighting tirelessly to bring about the changes that we are witnessing now. Hope we will be able to sustain this momentum and good sense prevails for the world's largest democracy to succeed in ushering equality to its citizens. We have a long way to go in bringing anti-discrimination laws at public and work places, legalizing gay marriages and in laying down inheritance laws and adoption rights. But nevertheless, this is a good start!

The very first picture used for this article is a still from Onir's latest feature film, 'I Am' slated to release on coming Friday. 'I Am' is a fusion of four stories, in which one deals with sexual discrimination and how police uses Article 377 to harass and blackmail gay men. You can view the theatrical trailer of 'I Am' by clicking here.

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Indians Being Homophobic And More

There is a strong intolerance brewing in India. Probably, it was always there, probably I was ignorant about it, but now the frequency by which it makes headlines almost every other day makes me sit up and wonder, what is frikkin' wrong with us? Why are we so hell-bent in intruding other’s personal lives and decisions? By some twisted justification given in the name of ‘honour’, mothers and fathers kill their daughters and sons, brothers take the lives of their sisters and brother-in-laws, and relatives decide the fate of young couples. [link][link][link][link]

What is more shocking is the fact these people have no remorse for their bloody actions and firmly believe what they did was right. I can’t help but look at them with the same lens that I see terrorists who slaughter in the name of ‘jannat’ and take pride about their heinous acts.

Last year's gay parade at New Delhi. Courtesy: Associated Press

Post striking down section 377, it is encouraging to see journalists being more open to writing about homosexuality. On July 2nd, which marked the one year anniversary of the landmark High Court judgement, Indian dailies extensively discussed about matters concerning gays. The stories mostly reflected on the hopes and dreams of millions of Indian gays - to be accepted for what they are without any grudge. Celine Jaitley, the actress and gay rights activist, penned a wonderful piece on Hindustan Times trying to make readers see that this is not just about gay rights, but about human rights. (Read the article here.) But I still get that irking feeling when the word “choice” gets mingled in this whole debate. Deciding which flavour of ice cream one wants is a CHOICE, but to be GAY or STRAIGHT is NOT. Homosexuality and choice do not sit on the same boat. Period!

Though there were numerous articles that touched upon homosexuality very positively, I’m not sure how many got read by those who hold the prejudice. And the reason? The photos used for these articles were supporting the stereotypical beliefs. If I were a homophobe, and I see an article about homosexuality with a snap that enforces my prejudiced believes, would I be challenging myself to see situations differently? May be the transgendered and cross-dressers are more “camera-friendly”, but I feel that the media should resist the temptation of magnifying stereotypes. A picture indeed screams a thousand words and we badly want to see something that we can identify with.

Harish Iyer (centre) with his colleagues at Shobiz. Courtesy: Economic Times

With that said, the above image which appeared on Economic Times for the article that discussed about how things are finally changing for gays in the Indian workplace, was refreshing; thanks to Harish and Bharat Chanda (the photographer).

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