Though I detest looking for guys from dating sites, in India that could be the only safest go. You needn't worry about your gaydar malfunctioning or trying hard to flirt with the cutie to let the bum know about your infatuation towards him. But finding guys from online has its drawbacks. Since it is not a face to face, many uncertainties remain unanswered. And finally, you meet the guy in real and get the shock of your life! Don't worry. Follow my simple yet powerful, step by step strategy to cushion that blow.
1. Browsing the profiles
I'm expecting a decent write up of the person. Long, I mean really loooong profiles bore me. Same goes for those who are having an inflated idea about themselves. And no pictures of genitals and butt. I also don't want to see pictures of men (or women) indulging in their sexual pleasures. I ain't here for porn, I have heaps of it in my comp.
2. IMing the subject
At this point I'm expecting a clear photo of him. Don't try to fool me by showing some hottie's pic. I have scaled this internet far and wide that I would be able to know whether it is fake or not. Also A/S/Ls really piss me off. So do those questions about the length of my shaft and "Are you top or bottom?" And don't expect me to share my previous experiences. Those are my personal stuff and I don't have to prove my sexual proficiency to him. The "dear" usage is a total turn-off. Guys who make me wait 3 or more minutes for their reply gets my delete. Most of the time, this leg becomes the last one for many candidates.
3. Phoning the guy
The dudes who have cleared the previous round is subjected to yet another even tougher one. But I can be easy on them if they call me first and not waiting for me to call them. And here I'm faced with the breed "missed-callers" who give me missed calls to call them. No doubt, they too get my delete. Also, guys hoping for a phone-sex will be seriously disappointed. I have had many where they would throw the hints here and there, trying to make me arouse, but I would pretend that I'm not getting any of them. For the rest of the guys, this is the opportunity for me to know the real deal. I check out his voice (strong, deep and masculine would be perfect!), the way he talks (sissy and clingy guys, sorry!) and how interesting he is to carry forward the conversation (sense of humour is a plus!)
4. The meet!
If we find we are comfortable in our phone chats, this will be the ultimate and final test! The most scary part is when the guy wants to talk gay stuff in public when you know the people setting next could hear us well. Sorry, I'm really concerned about what people think about me. I try to tell him that I'm feeling uncomfortable, but if he continues to show off his gay pride, then he can continue doing that. But don't expect me to see him again. I will be watching his mannerisms. Nose picking, sneezing without covering, slurping while drinking and eating, body odour.. all can seriously gross me out. I expect him to be well mannered and if he hasn't got that, then he is not worth my time.
So have you got what it takes to be my ideal date?
And now you may ask me the benefit of following such tight checks? SINGLE AND NO SEX LIFE!! Sigh.
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